Navigating a new life….

You cant please everyone, you cant be what others would like you to be, all you can do is be you.. easier said than done!

“you can’t please everyone, navigating a new life”

I have a reflective style of writing and will continue to do that. We all have a story to tell, we change, grow and sometimes with that fear can control what we do in our future.

I can only speak for me and purposely to be fair to all. The loss of a loved one is difficult, and those that know me will appreciate how difficult it was and still is to loose my father. The loss that I never thought I would experience is the loss of a marriage..

The breakdown of a marriage is not something that you see for yourself even though statistics show that marriage’s do indeed breakdown. I married when I was 30 and can say that I had some of the best times of my life. I enjoyed sharing my life who I thought would be as they say “my happy ever after”…

My marriage broke down. The reasons are personal and will stay like that. Being alone after 13 years is a loss that I didn’t expect. I sit here in 2019 and at 43 feel lost. Breaking up is hard enough, but not knowing what to do next is just as hard.

“who am I?” “how do I act?” “what did I do wrong?”

These are the questions that I ponder and realise it will take time. I know that I am not perfect, I have my faults, but I never regret anything in my past, including my marriage. Have I learnt from the loss of my marriage? Yes, to find who I am and trying to find a new path in life. I no longer ask, what did I do wrong.. not because I think I’m perfect but rather it is about moving forward

Moving forward includes my study, finding work and seeing what a new life looks like on my own. Will I love again? I hope so. Will I marry again? I hope so. That is what I do know. If anyone goes through a marriage breakup loss is the feeling I did not expect, it hurts, but I can say that unlike some others, we are still friends. I am grateful for that, always will be. I don’t have children, unlike others who do and I can only imagine how challenging that would be.